What makes you Strong?

Gratitude, it’s very easy but really difficult to share. We are told that we should be thankful to god for everything we have got but do we take out the time to thank the people who actaully make things and life so much easy for us?

Do thank the watchman for staying up so that you can have a sound sleep, I know most of them doze off in the middle but that’s fine they are only human and night time well, is meant for sleeping; have you? Do you thank your partner for who did everything to make you comforatble and loves you even when you are irratonal? Have you thanked your best friend who you loves you llike a lunatic and is the only perosn who understands you on a spitual level?

Whoever said that in friendship there is no sorry, no thank you was probably bluffing because if you can realize your mistake and not say sorry or thank someone for making things a little easy if not a lot then what exactly do you put in a relationship? Realising that yes you are in it and there is a person with you putting in the same amount of effort and time and yet you choose to show no gratitute because well they are your friend or family, but hey guess what? We all need appreciation, we all need attention even when it’s painful to accpet that you do need someone to tell you that you are loved and honestly that person could be YOU. Telling yourself that you are proud of yourself for doing someone good or accomplishing something or for simply surviving a rough day, well it all matters!

By loving yourself or appreciating yourself I don’t mean being in ‘control’ because believe it or not however strong that makes you feel it makes you break yourself again and again so that are on the top of the game before anything bad happens to you. I am no saint or monk but I can surely tell you this, however strong you feel when you stop your tears from falling so as to not feel a thing or how tough you feel when you don’t cry over someone leaving you, you let yourself break into a million pieces everytime and then- Take control!

You know sometimes, just sometimes it’s okay to let go and let people love you and take care of you. Yes some will still leave you and break your heart and some will hurt you so bad that you would want to crawl back into the shell of your’s but it is in that moment when you choose let go of the ‘control’- the stong desire to not love yourself or feel loved you become stronger!

So next time when someone tells you not to cry because strong people don’t cry well please do cry and show them that feeling loved or hurt and being vulnerable is what makes you stronger everyday and don’t forget to thank yourself for it.

P.S.- Be thankful and be vulnerable.

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Open your Heart

You know what is the trick to happiness?

Nothing!

That’s it, there is no trick! You can either put yourself out there to experience all the emotions or just feel nothing. Happiness does not exist without the other basic emotions of sadnessfearanger,surprise and disgust but why are we all only reaching out for happiness, is that why we hope for good things to happen?

 

I myself am learning to accpet my feelings let alone experiencing them, it’s hard believe me it is! This generations is told that ‘you have it easy’ well NO, we don’t have it easy and we are slowly but gradually losing our humanity the very thing which makes us human; feelings don’t make things worse they just make it real and god knows what happens to us when we face our real-ity!

My parents have taught me that too much anything is dangerous well yeah it is but is applicable only in the case of anger beacause then you’ll have anger issues, fear- then well you might have a clinically proven phobia. Why do we only focus on “how short-tempered I am hence I can’t be with someone or my friends would leave me if they see the real me”? , isn’t feeling dejected too part of that process because no the real you is NOT a monster for starters and you can have friends or anyone who loves you, who would fight with you like cats and dogs but they aren’t leaving you!!

I may sound so pessimistic and negative but tell me how and what exactly do you pray for at the dinner table with your family- happiness and well- being right? Well there’s absolutely nothing wrong in that but how is it fair to allow your hearts to feel only a certain way and then when you feel new emotions you become a wreck becasue feeling happy is what the heart knows. Expressing, emoting, feeling, expereincing is that what breaks us apart?

I don’t think so but at times I have chosen to believe otherwise too.

P.S. -Open you heart.

 

Are You with Me?

Are You with Me?

Touch of technology on Human Relationships

The need for orientation and control is the most fundamental of our human needs. We are living in the midst of internet revolution and entering into the era of advanced digitization. The consequent rise or increase in technology will either enhance or hinder the attachment or control in relationships. This assignment provides a very suggestive and practical perspective to the development of relationships across lifespan. The onset of technology has given us the bane of various luxuries, things which earlier took greater effort can now be finished more easily and effectively in lesser time. Our need for control is satisfied when a maximum number of options are available to us and technology has provided us with exactly the adequate options. However, often relationships are what cost us these advancements in technology. Older people express distress over the fact the youngsters can easily move their fingers on any of the latest gadgets and show off their expertise and promptness.

The generation I belong to has had the opportunity to witness the shift of centuries from 20th to the 21st and hence, has seen the world with and without technology. I was lucky enough to grow up without been keen on knowing the “WiFi” password but instead playing hide n seek or eating mud. However, the neural pathway created by our brain to understand technology is stronger than that of our parent’s generation. The nature of this article being observational and experiential I would start off by stating an instance which continues to bother one of friends .His is in his 50s and he understands that it is difficult for him to handle a few “tech” things, though he taught him how to pay bills online but my friend continues to pay them for him because it’s a hassle for him to move on from one window to the other. All he wants is it to get over at once and not create multiple dialogue boxes. My friend always tells his father that why you don’t do it on your own and make him or his sister to do it even now when he himself is aware of the process. It was easier for my friend and his sister to adopt the technological changes and be comfortable at the online domain because they were still in their developing years and how difficult could it be to learn something when a child is growing up. However the same couldn’t be applied to his parents because they had reached the middle adulthood stage by that time and without having any foundation of any sort it might have been quite difficult to adapt to these advancements.

I believe that the advent of technology has coined the term “generation gap” and hence has brought many downsides to parent-child relationships dynamics. A survey conducted on a news report suggests a generation gap exists when it comes to using online services and it has provoked some conflict between generations. While the younger generation has expressed impatience with the older generation’s resistance to adapt to the online domain, the older generation is just as bewildered by the younger lot who choose to publish/post their personal information onto the World Wide Web. It was easier for me to learn and understand the technological changes that happened because I was in my formative years of development and was still adapting and developing my convergent thinking and divergent thinking (cognitive) and social interactions skills (psycho-social). On the contrary what I have observed from my father is that he is more worried about his having wrinkly and baggy skin under his eyes than replying to people on his whatsapp contact list. We have so strongly believed in the façade of technology helping us bring people closer but what we did not realize is, it has taken relationships farther.

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Just a few days back a friend shared this meme and in that moment I did not realize as to what it actually means but it had appeared very clear to me once and read through it. This comic strip shows a man who lit the world’s first fire and ended up burning his face with the same. This made me realize that although the world of technology looks glamorous to the naked eye (ignorant people) but upon taking a closer look we can clearly see our flaw in making it an instrument that renders us stagnant rather than progressed. We are too focused about going forward it’s like we are taking two steps into the future and simultaneously steeping back in the past.

Technology has pushed us to such limits that people want natural items which are now referred to as ‘genetically produced items’ and no one no longer wants to witness or take on the nature themselves. These days’ people are becoming more and more organic but no one wants to actually even think about taking up a career in the agricultural sector. Now here is where the irony lies as to humans are moving ahead in future but in that process they are ruining everything they has or nature gave them in doing so. Technology has brought us closer and helped us in ways which benefit human life but things to the extent of life-size robots as a replacement for the irregularities of Homo sapiens, I really doubt so.

I believe that the concept of ‘a family who eats together stays together’ has lost its essence due to technological changes because now the food ends up running cold at the dinner table and the kids of the house are busy checking and posting their Facebook/Instagram news feeds. Recently I came across an advertisement on TV about a ‘dust-free’ fan which made me wonder is this how far we have come to make ourselves relived from all the work which was essential to the chores of the daily household or was this where we always wished humanity to be? Albert Einstein feared the day technology would surpass human interaction because then the world would have a generation of ‘idiots’. So, are we leading to that generation or are we the very generation Einstein talked about?

As an observation, in Indian households cleaning the house on holidays is like a family activity which personally for me is a fun activity but these days I see nothing of this sort as now we have vacuum cleaners, ‘dust-free’ fans etc. which are available for our convenience but what bothers me is not the comfort but the bond being hampered which is formed and strengthened when a family works as a unit, be it for something as small as sweeping or mopping.

Technology has altered the way we classify learning we have gone from building blocks to fruit ninja and hence altering the senses we used for them respectively, an instance to support that is the time one of my aunt got a new smartphone from as a gift from her daughter to which she jumped with glee as to it was from her daughter’s saved and well-earned cash. She taught her mother how to operate it and the other functioning but somehow my aunt continues to struggle with it. Now probably my cousin is mature enough to understand that it’s ok for her to take her time with it however it seemed to have irritated my cousin to a large extent that she used to get impatient about the fact that why and how could be so difficult for anyone to operate a mobile phone. What she did not realize is the ease my aunt had on a ‘qwerty’ phone which she couldn’t find in the new virtual keypad available to her. It is easier for her to distinguish the sense or touch on different keypads of different devices but the virtual technology is something the older generation doesn’t really understand. This is because people from the older generation have always had tangibility as a part of the growing up process while the younger lot it has got to do with more of the unseen. To put it in simpler words the older generation has and continues to focus and value physical health however the younger generation has got more to do with the mental well-being. Both these aspects are right in their own way but what bridges the gap between tangibility and unseen is communication which has been lacking in relationships is far and has been compromised to a video call every two weeks.

Before the advent of Google maps and mobile technology, there were times when people used to remember phone numbers, contact numbers, birth day dates, anniversaries ad so on. The neural pathways created by the brain provided it with extra cellular brain activity which in turn gave way to better lifestyles. These days we can simply follow a map, save contacts, put birthday reminders as alarms on smartphone and what not. While one might have 500 friends on Facebook there’ll be none to have or share a heart-to-heart conversation and poses a grave question as to how many of them could you truly lean on in time of crises.

The dilemma here is that while you may have surface-level relationships with technology, you might be missing in a couple of key people in your life that can really make to you and your well-being.We all are busy with updated, uploading, sharing, texting that we have the touch of reality and that of nature. A birthday dedication on social media can and will never suffice a hug! The concept of ‘buy me’ has led to a disconnected ‘we’, all this busyness has an impact on the ‘we’ in any relationship where technology allows us to be instantly connected and tuned-in at all times to others. Relationships and bonds are what will give us warmth and comfort when we are old and wrinkly and not the so-called known friend you never met.

With all the advances in technology to help us communicate faster, cheaper and clearer, more and more people are lonely and isolated than ever.I think technology is a great connection facilitator and it has certainly promoted our desire for gratification and the need for fast and immediate satisfaction. However, though it is efficient it has taken the humane away from the human .

Hence even though we can communicate at the speed of light ,we as human beings might need more time to work out what we want and how we want it, so the real question is how connected are we with ourselves and our loved ones? Are we taking the human race further into the future as advanced beings or way stepping back into the past to being primitive mammals who are dependable in someway or other?

Do you believe in God or does belief make God?

Do you believe in God or does belief make God?

“Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe”- Augustine

Let’s get this straight- today I am not going to talk about the arguments of science which state that there is no God because there’s no solid evidence to prove otherwise, instead I am going to discuss about the very basis of God being in the universe. So the next time you see a person choosing not to have chicken on Tuesday’s might perhaps not be because lord ‘Hanuman’ came and warned him/her not to, but because what they have been following throughout their lives as that’s what they choose to believe.

Our parents tell us about the wisdom passed down by the old wise people who taught the world about the existence of God on the same earth, thousands of years ago but I wonder who actually taught them? Maybe their ancestors or maybe they actually attained nirvana experiencing the vision of God! Yet again, the only truth we know about our holy books is that they were written by a human being, who apparently saw God in some form or the other. I am not denying the fact that they had a vision of God but all I question is the accuracy of the common truth in their words. It’s quite contradictory that we have read about forgiving people yet we still have the concept of hell and heaven (at least most of us!).Maybe what Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha said is right but over the years the translations have definitely changed a bit and the bit encompassing more than half of the entire human and this, bit, all people-us have believed in it since for years .

For instance we say that only after attaining ‘moksha’ we get to see God yet our holy books say that God lies within us, God is in everything we do or God is in everything we wish to do. So for a monk in the hills, being near to God is labeled as worship while on the other hand an ordinary man doing his work ,something he loves to do and finds peace in is seen as routine, WHY?. From childhood we’ve been taught to go to the temple or at least chant holy verses from our respective religious books every day in order to have God by our side in whatever we do and so that at the end of the day we are happy and are able to put our action towards the right direction, now that’s quite delusional because who gets to decide that the path we choose is right or wrong and even if it is wrong how is it even possible to state that God is not with us through that path ,through the struggle .
Now, in way perceive this as me refuting the idea or existence of God but understand that people go on to defend something throughout their lives which they were labeled in just minutes after their birth ;their name, religion and ideals and this is very much hysterical because we have no reason to follow something if we don’t believe in it our self and even if we go on to believe in the things passed onto us from our ancestors, what answer do we get just thinking over one question, is it true to your being? Forgetting about the logic it may hold but is it reflecting upon our own life or are we simply pretending to follow a false conviction.
At times when our worship fails us why is it that we question our beliefs and ideals which we’ve been justifying from the time we gained conscious.

Go figure!